2008 in Reflection

I looked on dictionary.com and found this. I think that (b) describes the definition that I was looking for. I am not sure about the judging rationally part, but the rest seems okay.

Reflection 1. The act of reflecting, or turning or sending back, or the state of being reflected. Specifically: (a) The return of rays, beams, sound, or the like, from a surface. See Angle of reflection, below. The eye sees not itself, But by reflection, by some other things. --Shak. (b) The reverting of the mind to that which has already occupied it; continued consideration; meditation; contemplation; hence, also, that operation or power of the mind by which it is conscious of its own acts or states; the capacity for judging rationally, especially in view of a moral rule or standard.

I think that I had an unbelievably good year.

Many people might not agree with me considering that I found out that I had breast cancer and that I had a double mastectomy and two additional surgeries as well. It has been a year of recovering.

Finding out that I had cancer has given me the blessing of finding how close that my sisters and I are and discovering who my true friends are. I could wish that I never had cancer, but I am just grateful that I found out early enough to do something about it.

My 50th birthday was this year. It was exactly six days after my mastectomy surgery. That was the day that I got the news that they got it all. I had my drain tubes removed and the nurse told me that she had never seen a better pathology report. She made me so happy with that news that I could have cried. I know we all wish for monetary gifts, but believe me when I say that this was the best gift ever and one that I will never forget.

Because of all of the "bad" stuff that I had to deal with, I got to spend a lot more time with my granddaughter Lyza. She was the sunshine that I needed on gloomy days. She is always so happy and she just exuberates joy. I have spent many hours watching her and laughing. She is bubbly and busy all the time and does not give you time to think about what may be sad in your life. I think that we tend to forget the small pleasures in life, but we should take the time to realize that they are what keeps us going sometimes.

I am now working on my new outlook for life. It is a work in progress and I am sure it always will be. So many things changed for me on a daily basis this year that I am trying to take one day at a time. Sometimes I think that we plan our lives away. I know that some matters require it, but other things we should just let happen and enjoy them. I am trying to not over think everything and that is very difficult because I am, by nature, a planner. I also need to work more on showing the people that I love how I feel about them and that is a difficult task for me.

Many good and joyous things also happened this year.

I was given the opportunity to turn 50. My husband and I celebrated 22 years of marriage. I got to spend time with my family. My nephew got married. I became a great aunt. Lyza had her first birthday. My great nephew had surgery that went very well. I have enjoyed a year off from working which reduced my stress levels. My husband got to come home from Germany to help me with my recovery. I found out just how much I am loved.

I need to say thank you to my sisters for giving me the love, strength and courage to fight my battles this year. I don't think they can ever understand how much they helped pull me through my difficulties this year. I want them to know that they made me feel worthy of love and I want them to feel the same. They are just as worthy of the same love that they were so willing to give me and I hope that I can show them the same and that they will accept it. I love them both very much.

I am looking forward to what 2009 will bring to me and my family.